Why is Your Relationship so Hard?
My Experince.
Love is like winning the whole world, but as it grows deeper, it gets tougher. I’m pretty sure We all have felt this way.
Based on my experience, let me share where relationships get tricky . Then you can find solutions to navigate through them.
1.Communication Problems
People have unique ways of communicating, which might not be clear at first. When we first meet someone, we might not notice these differences because we’re not looking closely. But when we start living together, that’s when we see the real differences.
Here starts the hardness. In the relationships most people don’t want to listen, and they don’t try understand. Let me share my experience.
My husband has an analytical mindset, and he is really an active listener. So, when it comes to communication and responding was challenging for me. Honestly, the first three months of my marriage were quite challenging, mainly because my husband is more oriented towards intellectual pursuits.
Over time, I’ve come to understand his thinking patterns, his direct and to-the-point communication style, as well as his non-verbal cues. By the way, let me tell you, he is such an amazing man, full of love.
Figuring out what actual intention behind we talk is bit of a puzzle in a relationship. Especially with our totally different upbringings and mindsets. But cracking the code of our communication styles That’s been quite the adventure!
2. Lack of Appreciation.
Experiencing a lack of appreciation in a relationship can be truly discouraging. It brings you down and makes you feel undervalued. Both partners need to show appreciation, but how they express it can differ.
From my experience, whenever I prepare food for my husband, he rarely says anything, but I can tell he enjoys it. Once, I asked him, ‘Why aren’t you saying anything? Wasn’t it good enough?
Then he said, ‘I finished the meal, so I really liked it. That’s why I kissed you.’ His way of showing gratitude is unique — kissing my cheek after a meal.
I tend to show my gratitude when he cooks; it’s my style. My dad didn’t often use words to say he appreciates something. My fater-in-law is also similar. But my brother frequently expresses gratitude verbally.
Understanding these differences is important. So accept your partner’s habits because everyone has their own unique way of showing they care.
3. Different Goals.
Once people move in together, their individual dreams and long-term goals start to clash. We would say, ‘I want this,’ ‘I want that,’ and it felt like neither of us was supporting the other’s vision. Sometimes, in a relationship, it’s ok to have different financial goals but make sure to aim for a common outcome.
That’s how it is for my husband and me. We each bring our unique skills and strengths to share common goals.
There’s no perfect match; it’s more about finding a suitable match where different performances work together. Think of it like your fingers — different shapes, different energies. When they come together in a fist, they’re powerful and beautiful. Let’s harness these differences towards one shared goal.
4. Different Expectations.
It’s essential to have a conversation about this immediately.
You might carry bad memories that affect how you see your partner, but remember, your partner might have had similar experiences as well.
You often say “I want love and care, and remember your partner is hoping for the same. To receive love, care, and trust, it’s important to give these things first. No need to beg or plead for it.
5. Power struggle
We all crave power, wanting our words to be accepted as the final say. Whether it’s earning more or caring deeply, these thoughts fuel the struggle for dominance in relationships.
But here’s the real story.
Yes, you’re the boss of your thoughts, and of cause your partner of theirs. The real game is finding a common ground. Don’t let these power struggles tear you apart. Channel them against life’s challenges together.
6. less Maturity
Understanding this factor is crucial. Let me share my experience again. My husband’s slower reactions differed from my quicker ones. His approach shows maturity. With growth, education, and experience, my own maturity has developed. When he’s feeling down, my comfort goes beyond mere cuddles. It involves shifting our mindset to listen, understand, and respond thoughtfully, rather than reacting impulsively. This helps us not to overreact to everyday emotions and events around us.
For single parents, especially dealing with an abusive ex, maturity is key. Making decisions for yourself and your kids requires a mature, rational approach, considering the consequences wisely.
7. Financial Strain
Money often takes the top place in our priorities, enabling us to embrace new experiences. We need money and let’s not let it harm our relationships. Despite the hurts and arguments about money, aim for a common ground, seeking solutions from the infinite earning possibilities to match and overcome our financial problems.
8. Comparison
Comparison in relationships can be tricky. It plays mind games with you. Don’t fall into that trap.
Sometimes, we look at other people’s partners and think, “Wow, they’re so amazing!” But here’s the thing — we only see what they want us to see. The real deal starts when we’re walking together with someone.
Constantly comparing our partner to someone else’s can bring problems. It’s like a never-ending cycle that messes with how we see things.
We don’t really know what’s going on behind closed doors.
We’ve got to focus on who our partner truly is and build our relationship on that, not what others show on the surface. That’s what really counts.
9. Jealousy
Jealousy can really mess things up in a new relationship. It’s like a storm that wipes out trust, forcing uncertainty upon everything around you. But listen, it’s about believing in yourself and in your partner. Instead of feeling insecure, try talking and building trust. That’s the real deal for a strong and happy relationship.
How are you feeling now? Is it difficult?
Don’t worry the relationships have their ups and downs. It’s a part of the journey.
When things get tough, don’t wait for your partner to fix it. Take the lead in steering your relationship towards a healthier bond.
Restart your journey now. Offer your partner a flower, a kiss, a smile, or simply enjoy a meal together.
I invite you to share your thoughts then we can explore this topic together, covering all your thoughts and ideas.
